Cystic Fibrosis And Embolism

idea of Misanthropin


Again I have a phase. Slowly, it is almost boring. Today it was a melancholy, nostalgic phase. Coupled with some heartache and sadness. In fact you could in the early stages as "I do not care all and I could almost cry" define. Then fell into nihilism, and even broke up with the nostalgia of the time, currently they only overshadowed me. The melancholy and deep sadness remained. Also, the heartache sits somewhere in the shade. The one I love seems to be overwhelmed by my love. But I did not want to here my Heart out. Or at least not the realm of love.
Much more must be written down my thoughts before they evaporate. The entry title says it all. If hate angels. Since I've seen a video of images of RIP-ResistantX with the song in the background, I can not listen to without ResistantX to Reb or vodka to think. To their actions. At its message. And in the gaps which they have hitnerlassen. I'm also pretty sure that Subway to Sally this exact topic with "If hate angel" theme. Hence the song is simply stunning, even if I every time I hear that it has to fight back tears. It may sound narcissistic and egozentrischt ... okay I'm narcissistic and egocentric

... but it reminds me of myself. On the one hand, I would like to send the message to the society, but I do not waste my life for something that would get the least. On the other hand, I was often seen as an angel. My best friend called me even guardian angels. Looking back on the last years, I dare say that I too have done some good. My last ex told me how well I would have done it, how much confidence he had won through and through me. My best friend, because I realize it without apparently passed through a difficult time. My top friend, I returned the hope my best friend I've maybe saved from depression, but certainly dissuaded from suicide thoughts. Yes, I look back I see that my past life was not wasted. That some of my friends did quite a bit to know me to be friends with me, or my life in general. This all sounds more self-centered, sound as it should. What I really want to say is that I can say in the face of death "I have accomplished something.". Although not a success in AP will be something similar or even heroic DOH ... but at least something of a hand so small and also as powerful as joy to my friends. I go from this world, no matter what kind and wise, so I have moved at least a tiny bit. I have the people I loved, helped. have lived - Will I die, I can say that I - even if it should be tomorrow. I did not know many things yet not seen. But one with me not the quantity but the quality. And what is more fulfilling than to be certain for some people was the angel? What is more reassuring than the knowledge, leave a gap in unfüllbare loved ones? It is unlikely to happen, that my death as I hope for him. But my desire to move something that reminds stay, will come true. And if it is only in the memories of loved ones ... what interested I called the mass and faceless? Who knows? Maybe my loved ones will tell me ... their friends, their family, perhaps their children. My memory will live on even now. I will not be immortal will get well no entry in Wikipedia and this site will read little more than five people in her existence. But you will remember me. Who knows how many to come? In how many I will be able to help realize my need? Who knows ... maybe I will but immortal ...

Grand Rapids Face Modeling Agencies

Right now I'm considering writing a book called "friends lose weight made easy - in just a few weeks you're standing all alone". Why? For this Reason. Currently there are very many people who hate me. By that I mean more than scho normally. While there are always those which I do not know particularly well and me - with two exceptions - were never very important. Should I go into the details? Actually, reading this, probably before hardly anyone, so I do again what I want.

Sico. I still know from the ref (ie high school, my old school), she was in the same class with Mellie and some others I know also other friends and counting. I lost because I do not particularly sensitive, as always, my opinion of her ex-boyfriend (I call him Harschi, ch that comes from rabbit [abbreviation of coward] and Ar *** l *). She knows my opinion of him actually, but that day I felt particularly good, so I moved really embraced him and called in just always Harschi. This they apparently could not stand. As I learned later she cried out in connection to our conversation his eyes. This I did not want him as my only criticism really was, but for whatever reason it has taken that personally. In any case, they did what may never make someone with me: She went offline without warning. You can insult me, as I'm working I say a *** l * ch would be (since I am even one mind), stupid, a key mpe * and scum (at the latter three, I disagree). This I can forgive most. But it is easy to go offline under all. Maybe I do not understand some things I would still be clear. Explanation: For me there is nothing worse than being ignored. This I can not stand. I do not mean that it would take me as the hardest, this weakness is not I reveal. No, I will go from 50 up to 280. Those who ignored me is dead. Who pulls me without warning as well. Who pulls me for me not explainable reason exactly. But I digress from the topic. Sico went offline as I said. Then there was silence Funct. But suddenly she began to make ready Mellie. Not that they offended Mellie but they insulted me by Mellie. I would be the

not matter, but Mellie was completely on the ground. Call me lesbian fight if you want, but it is good for everyone one of my friends when I am nearby and can help it! Conclusion: I was ready Sico. Probably they howled again. This time I hoped it, I wanted to be injured as possible, because as I said, they hurt Mellie. Especially with Mellie I lose control if you want someone to hurt. In any case I probably blocked Sico, cowardly as it seems. Mellie has also lost contact with her, because it is probably just the opposite with her and nobody tells me may harm their eyes. She was one of the exceptions. Who could
1. we take then? Ahja. There was such a horny schreeeecklich type. Actually, I liked the never and we had no real contact, but it's all a matter of principle. He had the misfortune to come to me with his horny, when I had a particular phase. Let's call it the "I-is-all-damn" phase. Said that I was half zombie, no feelings, an empty shell. This is a maybe for two hours. In any case I have made the seemingly finished, he pulled his tail and at least one blocked me by saying that I am completely crazy. Previously, he said even if I was on drugs. As you should know I take no drugs. But later I learned from Mellie, I really sounded like I had taken anything. Interesting. I just got later - no idea why - apologized to him by mail. But strangely enough, he never responded. Then there because this sweet 15 year olds. Was sweet irony. He is quite nice, shockingly naive - and incredibly self-pity. Anyone who knows me knows that I am classed as positive self-pity, as long as it is enjoyed alone. But throwing it to the other - preferably those that you do not even know it - it is pathetic. He has a strange disability (muscle area), which is why he appears to be the poorest and the bemitleidenswerteste Man looks on the earth. When we first wrote together, he hesitated at first around forever with the words "Yes, he would not be normal" and "so abnormal as I yourself are not you," ezt. In other words, even a blind man could have read that he wants to hide something pseudo-. I'm on his disability, "regardless of his feelings," a not. When we wrote the second time I burst from the collar so much self-pity. Imagine that Selbstmileid times as mucus before. If you are alone and I vollschleimst it is indeed your mucus, possibly you disgust yourself a little before that but it's nothing incredibly bad. But now imagine that someone comes to you, begin to secrete slime from every pore and deletes then everything about you from. About as I felt, angeschleimt correctly. So I said - again - my opinion. How pathetic self-pity would be and that he was not clear if he would necessarily compassion, etc. Then he said goodbye to me with the words "we will not write well together. Goodbye". And he was gone. Either he blocked Mellie - about them, I know him - for reasons unknowable, or it is not blocked me, because we both went offline. Maybe he took his own life. Then of course comes the
Vasenzerstörerin. Actually it was not a girlfriend, but that was the Notgeile also not self-pitying and just as wrong. So lead I here too. Their act I have explained in another post, not after, I may go again. The fact is simply that I have scared away again, a friend.
The Punk. Also, I say no more about him very much. Except that he was the second exception, which is why I have met probably as treason. Besides, would perhaps call his girlfriend, not as someone (or something, whatever you want to call a Punkanbeterin) have what I lost, but as one person on earth hates me.
My latest Lost. I know (/ did) it for quite a while. Certainly two years. I met him on his (ex-) girlfriend. At this point, I must perhaps mention that he is a Turk. Perhaps this explains a little (she is a Turkish woman, but something one rarely sees them as untürkenhaftes ... except maybe their "sh" instead of "sh", which she writes, but do it right now and frightening many full-blood Switzerland before ... all punks). When I started to write to her I had very soon much more contact with her than with him. This is primarily because he was preoccupied with his restaurant and it online instead, almost daily. I made friends pretty with her. Then came a calamity. Actually, some would describe it as luck, but it took everything with it. She was pregnant. Apparently I know the truth to the "why" not, but they drove off. Normally I would have advised her to exactly, but with her I had the feeling that she would not cope. When she still had the thing in itself, she was so pleased about it, I was ... I guess I do not exaggerate when I say "proudly" say ... the ultrasound images. Although I did not recognize much, but this is a detail. At that time there was 1 cm long, if I remember correctly. Yesterday I spoke for a long time for the first time with her. She had tried to kill herself because she missed her unborn baby so much. At this point I must mention possibly that it was a miracle that she was pregnant and that they now may never have the chance to have a child ... To this Point at which they lay on the ground, he came and gave her a kick as he left them hard. I wrote him an e-mail as soon as I heard this. This e-mail ... I think I was "a little" racist (which I'm usually not), too hard and perhaps premature. To my surprise, he replied almost immediately. He reacted as they had predicted. With disappointment with anger (or hatred, can not remember), which he named only and do not let me really feel. To be honest, and DAS is difficult for me, I'm sorry. I was really too hard on him. And I was too hasty. I jumped with spiked shoes on the ice, but it was too thin and I rbach and into the icy water. Now I realize that I was too harsh, but I'm not back to the bank and will probably drown. What does that our friendship is probably destroyed. He is not among the exceptions, since he himself is an exception to the exceptions and exception, I regret my behavior.
6. There were certainly some in between, but I can not easily remember all. Of the members of my family that I randomly start wegschmiss I not better. Over the years I have lost many friends through my own way. I am often brash, harsh, sometimes selfish and mean. Above all, I am too hasty. Of my best friends I know that I probably not laughed Irishman, as they would have forgiven me so many times, even if I do not or hardly apologized. In part ... ok, ALWAYS be my mistake until long clear later. So it was with my last ex, who at the end of one year with the charge I would have had quite contentious. So it is on the Turks, it was so many times with my friends. But my soul (by the way she lives in a gray cylinder with a smooth, unadorned walls, but a comfortably furnished room in the middle of my heart) for quite some time I whispered in his ear that I will soon be left without friends. I try to be with me all available force, a single fighter and usually also to awaken appears that it did, but I need from time to time at a port where I can fuel the energy for my acting. This port are my friends, the buffer zone between me and the brutal world. And I mean all

friends, even those that are further away, not so closely stuck to me. I think I need my friends to show me that not all people are bad. That some care is very good. That is probably the reason why it hits me so if one of them is behind me. Because it is my understanding confirmed: Everyone deserves to die.

Invitation To Death Anniversary

I once again made some personality tests.