Play Tapper Root Beer

BRUM!
Currently I am a bit ... hyper. Not hyperactive, not hyper-sensitive. My heart beats as if it would set a world record xD I am aware of the reason for that - or I think I know - but this does not matter. I'm just trying to calm her. They slowly becomes painful.
Apart from my soon-busting Chest, there is nothing special. I finally wrote to my aunt. Oh! I have not told, as far as I know: My father went to Switzerland. Own terrible beauty is what he told me vorgejammert but he would not have enough money for the trip, he has tried to instill pity me, because he would see my paternal Grandmother never. And now he was going. But much was worse: He could not tell! Hello? This guy was my father. Well. Even worse is that my Grandmother, actually one of my favorite family members, has been silent and accepted that he does not need us to tell. I'm so sorry, but this is a Vetrauensbruch. I do not know if she can ever do well. As can again come as voices and tell me they would not live much longer, I would have to exercise consideration. Should I therefore take on any

consideration, could die soon? That would be for each person, because we can all be dead tomorrow.
... Wow. This idea, though always existing but very loud now, has just stolen my breath away. I could be dead tomorrow in bed. Perhaps today's mushrooms were not so good, who knows? Or the day I might fall down the stairs. Wow. My shock is less the idea of "Noooo! Then I'm dead! "Because the death I spit in his face, he does not interest me at all. There are other things, things like the smile of my best friend. The voice of my most important friend, the skeptical gaze of my best ones are. It simple things like calling a screech owl in the night and the sparkle of the stars in the sky. This I have written a text that is already long time ago.

stringent sense
I with my life complete. Actually, I've been a long time ago. Now, death is almost at the door. I hear his footsteps coming up the stairs. But feel ich keine Angst, kein Verlangen, keine Freude und keinen Schmerz. In mir herrscht Leere und ich frage mich, ob jeder Todgeweihte gleich fühlt. Mein Gesicht ist dem dunklen Fenster zugewandt. Mir lacht die kalte Frontseite des gegenüberliegenden Hauses hämisch entgegen. Zum ersten Mal lächle ich zurück. 
Er hat die letzte Stufe erreicht, mein Zimmer ist das letzte des Ganges. Mein Körper scheint versteinert zu sein, lediglich mein Kopf ist diesem Zauber entronnen. Mit geweiteten Augen und leicht geöffnetem Mund blicke ich um mich, betrachte zum letzten Mal mein Zimmer. Die trotz der Dunkelheit beinahe leuchtenden Wände. Meinen dunklen Kleiderschrank, die Türe halb geöffnet. Mit ein wenig Anstrengung ist es possible for me to discern outlines of my favorite gowns. The adjacent panel. My homework are still waiting. The sadness begins to penetrate into my blood. My thoughts are my best friends I'll never see again. My best friend once defied my death but now he has failed. How will he cave in? My two best friends, I would one last wish, he would explain it to them. What is to say my most important friend? How will he think of me, he who has escaped death. I force my eyes and I will not continue to doubt. Only briefly stuck my eyes on my baby and I allow my thoughts only a few seconds to let linger in people, which I thank him have met. I hope his new owner will love just as much as I do. I pop in at the window, look at my little collection of candles and examine instead my bookshelf. Since I can read it filled. At this stage it is badly cluttered and I would have needed a new one for months. This has now done. He comes closer, has more than half his way back down. A slight breeze pushes through the window to me. I breathe in the cool air of a late autumn night. Through my socks, I feel the carpet more than ever before. In the face with the death of my senses seem to worsen. The scent of nearly wilted rose permeates almost pushing in my nose. The substance injected is really against my skin. In the distance a dog barked. A tear dissolves from my chin and falls on my chest. So far I did not notice that I've cried. This must have happened at the thought of my friends. I close my eyes.

fade steps. He has arrived. sounds more relaxed than the clicking of the latch, my whole body. He enters. The door closes.

"My parents?" I ask, surprised at the silence of my voice.

"I'm stunned she." Replies me a rough Voice.

"Good."

My words are little more than a wind that escapes me as I turn around. I open my eyes. He holds the gun loosely in his right hand.

"Are you ready?" He asks, taking a step toward me.

He looks at me with a hard look. I almost feel a trace of scorn in his voice heard.

"Only you can decide you differently."

"I have decided." I respond and not let my eyes are different from his.

"Then kneel down. "

I obey without hesitation. When the cold hits his gun at my temple, I begin to sob. He waits. My thoughts drift. How ironic, how convincing from my abstraction, I think at the moment before my death to a movie. Well, it's not just any movie, it is hardly a touching movie as Innocent Voices, which is related not only with the fact that based on real facts. The knowledge of how much the children have struggled in him for their lives, like most of their battle is lost in comparison with my intended, even desired departure almost unbearable. It seems to me as if I spot her memory. I suppress a chuckle sobbing, I'm so desperate, my honor I will keep.

"Will you change your mind up?"

"No," I breathe, I will. "

My eyes are staring, my mouth open again slightly. That's it. It is the end. I take my last breaths. Move the last time my fingers. My knees hurt from the carpet. I look up to him. He waits. I swallow the last time, letting me fall to my ankles. My hands trembled slightly folded in my lap. Outside, I hear an owl. The last Tear making its way. I turn my eyes away from his face and breathe deeply for the last time. Then I close my eyes. "So be it."

-----------------

What do I want? I am afraid the thought of death far. Too bad for the friends, because of the things that I like and those who can make me never. But I "afraid" to forget. I do not mean that I'm afraid. But it would remind me to be against the grain, only by the loved ones. Sure, these would be the process well, "missing, replace forgotten. I want to achieve something. By that I mean no personal success, such as career (although this would certainly nothing negative). What I mean is, make a difference. Whether people wake up to present the grievances of the society to all, some of these are knowing all the politicians to shoot in the head ... to actually do something that I would not necessarily represent myself because I really hate people I do not know to help. But I would bring so not even sorrow and pain? Would the people ripping out their eyelids, their eyes so that they can not be closed before the Wirklichskeit, I would because some not hurt? How many of these weak little man would be the sight of her ugly, stinking heap of errors compared with NS to survive against nature? How many would commit suicide because they can not bear it? And how many people would take refuge in their own world? But even if humanity had no eyelids anymore - they would find accessible explanations for their mistakes. She would always find a positive answer to a nagging question. You could excuse all their inexplicable errors, easy and intuitive.

Mad world ...